How to Reclaim Your Social Life After Divorce

Four friends sit chatting at a table in a coffee shop.

Going through a separation or divorce tends to change a lot about one's life. Sometimes, it might feel like the enjoyable parts of life have been put on hold, both at home and in your social circle.

Facing so many challenges all at once is never easy, but it's crucial to start working through your complicated feelings before you can truly move forward. While speaking to a mental health professional, like a therapist, can be very helpful in this situation, friends can also be an excellent source of comfort and support.

With the help of good friends, working to build back your social life after divorce can help you to move ahead during this difficult time. Consider these tips for how to reclaim your social life after divorce.

Reach out for support

For many, moving forward and reclaiming a social life after divorce is not something that happens overnight. Being able to grieve your relationship that has just ended and work through your emotions are essential aspects of moving on healthily. If you do not take the time to heal after divorce, you may end up carrying your negative emotions into your new social life and won't be able to enjoy it to the same degree as you could on a clean slate.

Don't think you have to handle this entirely on your own. Let yourself work through your emotions in a healthy manner by seeking help. Talk about your feelings with close friends who will offer you their close attention and support. Even if you don't always talk about your feelings, just spending time with friends can feel good and is a positive step towards reclaiming your social life.

Also, consider working with a therapist or other mental health professional. No matter how close you are to your friends, working with a professional who is neutral to your situation can sometimes provide you with a new perspective. 

Spend time with the right friends

After your separation, you may have realized that many things have changed not only about your life but about you. You might be a different person than you once were and have different needs and desires when it comes to your social life.

Embracing your new sense of self is okay. Sometimes, a little change helps a person find unique strengths and builds a new desire to move forward. This might even mean meeting new friends or re-establishing friendships that had fallen by the wayside. 

You might not keep all of the friends you had when you were in your relationship, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. In some instances, it may be best to distance yourself from people who are too connected to your former spouse or partner. Being around these people while you're still healing from your divorce might stall your progress. 

Focus your energy on the people who you know will always have your back. Devote your time to healthy friendships that build you up, not bring you down.

Try new things

As part of reclaiming your social life, be open to exploring new ideas or trying things you always wanted to do. This may include a trip to a new place or taking a class about something you always wanted to learn. It could also mean finally getting that dramatic haircut or trying out a new fashion style.

Follow the ideas that make you happy, but remember to keep yourself grounded for your children. Any significant life changes you make will have an impact on your children, so be conscious of that as you explore.

Stay focused on yourself and your children

Your children will always be an enormous force in your life. They must be taken into account in your decisions as you move forward in life, including in your social life. Stay focused on keeping yourself and your children well. 

Consider where your children fall into your social life. They may not be out with you and your friends all the time, but the actions you take when you're out can reflect on your children. This is especially true when it comes to romantic relationships in your social life. Dating during your divorce has the potential to complicate the situation even further, yet that doesn't mean you can't be with anyone else ever again. In the beginning, take it slow and work to build friendships.

Reclaiming your social life after divorce will likely take some time. Remember to accept the process, whatever it may bring you, and enjoy it as much as you can. Reach out to friends who will offer their support as you grieve the past. Be open to change as you meet new people and try new things. As you explore new ideas, be sure to take your children's needs into account. Strive to find a balance between being a supportive parent and achieving the future you desire.